


I could never hate you

by redddddiiiiieeeeeeeee



Category: IT - Stephen King, IT 2017, IT Chapter 2
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, theyre about 14 in this, this is my first time cut me some slack, trigger warning: faggot word is used
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:53:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21791791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redddddiiiiieeeeeeeee/pseuds/redddddiiiiieeeeeeeee
Summary: this is just. mAjor fluff. and also some angst (im sorry!). this story's going to be pretty long so bear with me. its basically a bunch of chapters leading to reddie's first kiss, and then i'll see if i want to continue lmao. i swear i'll never abandon this fic but i may take a long time to update haha
Relationships: Ben Hanscom & Beverly Marsh, Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough & Stanley Uris, Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Reddie - Relationship
Comments: 19
Kudos: 31





	1. one

(GUYSSS THIS IS REALLY SHORT BUT THE NEXT CHAPTERS WILL BE SO SO SO MUCH LONGER I PROMISE)

  


  


  


  


Richie did not like being alone. You see, living in a town filled with homophobes who thought you were a faggot was not as fun as it sounds. The fact that he really was a faggot did not help the situation.

_Faggot._ The word rolled across his mind. Richie shuddered. While he did not like being… gay, he had finally come to terms with it. He would still change it if he could ofcourse- not feeling disgusted at himself all the time would be a nice change of pace- but for now, he had accepted that that was who he was. “Hey fag, your friends left you all alone huh!?” Henry bowers, however, had not.

“Shit”, Richie muttered to himself. “Fuck you, Bowers!”, he screamed, before running off, dreading the chase.

Richie _really_ did not like being alone.

Despite his desperately muttered prayers (he didn’t even believe in god but shit man, help a brother out), the Bowers’ gang came running after him. Richie tremblingly hopped onto his bike and pedaled off. This had happened a million times, and Richie had never been caught, ~~but the thought still terrified him~~.

“I’ll be waiting for you tomorrow, asshat”, Henry screamed at him. Richie felt a knot form in his stomach. He didn’t show it, but he was afraid of the bullies much more than the rest of the losers.

But again, this wasn’t new. It was basically routine. Richie’s older bruises would hardly get time to heal before the new ones would show up. But Richie wasn’t going to cry; he would crash his bicycle. It was around 4pm on a Tuesday, and the losers weren’t hanging out. He knew who could always cheer him up, but he didn’t want to go to him. But he had to. He didn’t want to feel so strongly for the boy but he did, and although he would distance himself from him (or try to), he always wound up closer to him than he should be. Cursing himself, he decided to fuck it and just go over. He smiled at the thought of the boy, and then frowned at the thought of the smile. Disappointed but not surprised at his decision, he quickly pedaled towards the house of the one boy who always put a smile on his face.

Eddie Kaspbrak 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

  


  


Richie had not thought this through. How were you planning on getting past his mother, you idiot! he mentally yelled at himself. But Richie couldn't turn back now; he'd gotten much too excited to see Eddie. He put on his fakest smile and barged into the house. "Y- Boy- Richard what are you doing in my house?!", Sonia was so shocked to see Richie just barge in that she forgot to be angry. She knew he was a loudmouth and she had been subjected to his horrible attitude and defiance before but THIS? "Just coming to get Eddie, Mrs. Kaspbrak", Richie grinned, knowing he had stunned her to silence. He walked upstairs before she could say anything and entered Eddie's room.

Eddie's room was, not unlike Eddie, tiny. It's eye-catching features included a shelf filled with comic books, a giant empty desk where Eddie's 'medicines' used to be, and an asleep Eddie on the bed. He looked so cute asleep, all curled up hugging a pillow.... NO DON'T THINK OF EDDIE AS CUTE, Richie's mind reminded him. If Eddie knew how Richie felt, he would hate him too. And Richie wouldn't know what to do if that happened.

"Richie whatthefuck!", Eddie woke up and stared at him wide-eyed. Richie's brain, still processing that Eddie had caught him staring at him, would have definitely given his crush away if Richie's trashmouth hadn't taken over. "Well, Eds, I had just been downstairs with your mom and just decided to check if we'd woken you up, ya know?"

The smaller boy forgot all about the weird situation. "Don't call me Eds", he grumbled. Richie laughed. "Or what?"

"I'll kill you"

"Nah you love me too much"

"Fuck you Richie"

"Nah, your mom loves me too much"

Eddie groaned and Richie knew he'd won. He also knew that no matter what Henry did, he'd be fine.

"So, why'd you come over anyways? Except to watch me sleep obviously", Eddie asked.

"W-" 

"And don't say to fuck my mom", Eddie interrupted him. "Wow Eds", Richie grinned, "You stole the words right out of my mouth".

Eddie just raised his eyebrow in response, so Richie gave in. "Okay, I was being chased by Henry and his clonies and I think I have a few scratches on my leg so i thought I'd just drop by", he shrugged, knowing what was coming. "You should've begun with that", Eddie shot up. "Do you even know how many diseases you can get-" Eddie kept droning on and on and Richie just watched him fondly. He looked so cute when he was worried. Suddenly, Eddie grabbed his arm and pulled him downstairs. "We're going to go to Bill's, and then I'll make sure you don't die", Eddie responded before Richie could even ask. Seeing the confusion in Richie's eyes, he continued, "We're going to Bill's so my mom won't keep trying to 'help'". 

"Aren't you going to tell her we're leaving?"

"No"

Ever since Eddie had figured out that all his pills had been gazebos, he had been extra hostile towards his mother, but this was new.

Richie liked it though.

"So, what were you even doing in the forest?", Eddie asked. Richie smiled. It was almost too easy. "Your mom"

Eddie groaned again, and Richie just knew that it was going to be a good day.

  


  



	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk man just... reddie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS IM LIKE GOING TO MY GRANDMAS HOUSE FOR A BIT SO IM JUST TRANSFERRING THIS I WILL BE EDITING IT TOMORROW!!!!!! DW I'LL MAKE THIS LONGER AND WRITE ANOTHER CHAPTER

“Richie-“

“No”

“Richie I’ve got to-“

“No”

Eddie sighed. This was going to be impossible.

“Honestly Rich I’m just doing this for you so if you don’t want to, I’m fine with that. But then don’t come crying to me”

“Eds- Eddie I’m sorry. Please don’t stop”

Eddie began to rub antiseptic on Richie’s cuts again. Apparently they were much deeper than he’d realized, but it was only after Eddie’s freak-out that he sort of began to feel the pain he’d forgotten to notice while he was cycling away. It stung a lot, but Richie knew he had already complained too much, so he just bit his tongue.

“Hey, you g-guys duh-done?”, Bill asked, bringing in the paper towels Eddie had requested. “Yeah, almost”, Eddie answered, and dear god Richie hoped that was true.

“Guys I- I don’t wuh-want to r-rush you but s-stan is c-coming over and…”, Bill trailed off, clearly embarrassed. Eddie and Richie stared at each other- and burst out laughing. “Yeah y-yeah just leave”, Bill huffed. “Well of course Billy boy!”, Richie squealed, “We wouldn’t want to get in the way of you getting some, huh?” Richie held up his hand but Eddie just rolled his eyes and looked away, but Richie could see that he was smiling, and that was more than enough.

*

*

*

“So, where do you wanna go?”, Eddie asked. Richie wanted to suggest going over to Bev’s or maybe Mike’s, because being alone with the boy only made it harder for him to repress his feelings, but he just… couldn’t. He hated himself for feeling that way, but his desire to be with him won over his guilt, and he ended up suggesting going to the quarry.


	3. three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i seriously am just bullshitting my way through idek where this is going but let my babies be okay theyll figure it out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soo instead of lengthening that chapter i'll just write two instead of one!!

Richie didn't get it. Eddie was a tiny annoying hypochondriac, the exact opposite of him. Well maybe except the annoying part. But the more he tried to make himself hate Eddie, the more defensive he himself began getting about the boy. After getting into a whole mental argument with his own self, he gave up trying to change his feelings; it was pointless anyways. Instead, he stared at him. Due to the height difference, he could see much more of his hair and face than his body, so thats what he focused on. He could see his perfectly combed black hair (the son of a bitch (literally) probably shampooed and conditioned them every day). He could also see his cute button nose, and his unnaturally big brown eyes. He could see his pink lips moving, and all he could imagine was- 

"Richie?"

Richie startled at the noise and began looking for its source, which was dumb considering he and Eddie were the only ones out there.

"You weren't even listening to me were you? Huh? Asshole." 

"Sorryyy Eddie Spaghetti I was just thinking about your mom"

"Fuck you Rich. That gets old sometimes you know? It's not even funny anymore."

"Oh Eds, must you keep hurting me like this!"

Eddie rolled his eyes and Richie grinned. The reaction had given him a newfound sense of confidence, so he decided to just fuck it and go for it. He was scared but that shouldn't stop him, right??? He and Eddie were rarely alone and not fighting, and it was just _time._ Richie just knew it had to be now or never. He took a deep breath and began his rant.

"Do you ever think about dating someone?" 

Eddie froze. Which was quite awkward because he was in the middle of drinking water and it all just spilled on his face. 

"Oh my god Eddie!" Richie tried to feel bad but it was just. so. funny.

"Are you- are you fucking giggling right now?!" Eddie wasn't having any of it. "That's such a dick move you know. First you make me spill water all over myself, and then you fucking giggle. Do you even know how much shit I'm going to get from my mom about this? This is not funny Richie. Do you even underst-" Eddie paused, staring at his friend who was completely out of breath but somehow still laughing.

After about five minutes, Richie realised that Eddie had stopped talking, and looked up to see him glaring at him. But see, Eddie was short, dripping and pissed. 

It was even funnier.

Richie burst out laughing again and this time Eddie lost it. He began hitting him repeatedly on the arm chanting "Shut up shut up _shut up!"_ After about ten minutes of this, Richie's laughter finally died out and he put his glasses back on (there's only so much shaking glasses can take before they give up trying to hang on). "But like, do you Eds?", Richie approached the topic again, this time prepared to coax out an answer. 

"Richie, Eddie, hey! What are you guys doing here?"

Richie groaned inwardly. He loved Mike but the guy had awful timing. Eddie looked relieved and waved him over. They began talking about... something. Richie wasn't really paying attention anymore. He began thinking of an excuse to leave when he realised that it was nighttime anyways. "Eds I think you need to leave now", he said, knowing how much the boy cared about sleeping on time. "Shit, you're right. Sorry Mike, we'll talk after school tomorrow? I'll get the rest of the Losers. "Bye guys", Mike smiled at them, and then went back to just staring at the lake. Richie watched Eddie walk home and decided that his confession would have to wait. But his feelings were still looming on the surface and he was determined to confess to someone. So he decided to go to the place where everyone with a crush went to let out their deepest thoughts.

The Kissing Bridge.


	4. four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk i dont even remember what i wrote i was super sleeeeepy uWu

Eddie thrived on attention. And even though his mother was overprotective, she never really gave him ATTENTION. She ‘cared’ much more about his health than she cared about him, and so he looked to his friends for it. His mother however did teach him to equate attention with love. After all, she ‘loved’ her eddie-bear, and she did give him enough attention, didn’t she?

His friends weren’t very good at giving him attention. Ben and Mike would try, and they would sit through his long rants politely, but they would never really engage and cause Eddie to bore himself and shut up. Bill would also listen, but would keep getting restless; one time he actually screamed “I c-can’t do th-this anymore!” and left. After that, Eddie stopped forcing Bill to listen to him. Bev would sit for a bit, but would get distracted in the middle and stop listening to him after a bit, lost in her own world. Stan, on the other hand, would refuse to listen to Eddie at all. But all of them didn’t matter because Eddie had Richie.

Richie, who would happily listen to him talk; not for very long though, he would always find some way to change the topic, but Eddie would be laughing too hard to care (in his head, outside he would be glaring at him). Richie, who would argue with Eddie for hours, and always make him feel like the most special person in the world. Richie, who would shower Eddie with attention. Richie, who would never ignore Eddie, ever.

Richie, who would make Eddie feel safe.

Eddie liked being Richie’s special someone, his ‘Eds’. Not that he would ever admit it. Nope, the asshole already had a big enough head.

Eddie was busy thinking about Richie, when suddenly he was interrupted by a knock on his window. He got up and carefully pulled the curtain back, slightly afraid, but not too much because why would a murderer bother knocking? He looked out to see Richie pressed up against his first floor window, looking even stupider than usual. The only logical explanation, of course, was that Eddie had summoned him.

“Richie”, he hissed, “What the fuck”. “Edssss lemme innnnn”, Richie whined, and Eddie knew he wasn’t going to get an answer until he did so. He waited till Richie would be least expecting the window to open, and then quickly lifted the latch and watched as Richie’s eyes widened for a second, right before he fell in. “Dammit Eds!”, He grumbled, staring at the shorter boy who was literally rolling on the floor laughing. Eddie didn’t even care about his sleep schedule anymore. But even though he didn’t mind hanging out with Richie, he still wanted answers. So, he quickly (five minutes later) composed himself as best as he could and told himself not to let the topic change. “Richie, why are you here”, he spoke clearly, emphasising each word. “Well, you never gave me an answer”, Richie spoke softly. It was weird. Richie was the loudest person he’d ever met, and he was NEVER serious. “Well, I don’t know, I mean I’ve never really thought about it, but who does, you know? These things just happen and who really stresses...”, Eddie rambled on, desperately wanting Richie to change the topic. Richie stared at him. He seemed to be thinking, which was, again, rare.

All of a sudden, he seemed to reach a decision. Eddie was scared. Richie had spent so long arguing with himself that Eddie was certain that whatever he was about to tell him was not about to be good. “I’m gay”, Richie suddenly said. Eddie was shocked. He didn’t have a problem with gay people but, it wasn’t a good thing, right? It was wrong, wasn’t it? A million thoughts raced through his head. Boys kissing boys. Boys doing other stuff... with boys. It was wrong. At least, it was supposed to be. Was Richie a bad person? Of course he was. Being a faggot was a bad thing. It was a sin.  
All of a sudden, Eddie’s eyes fell on the boy in front of him. He looked vulnerable, scared even. Eddie’s breath hitched. This was Richie. This was the Richie who always protected him. This was the Richie who always managed to make him smile. This was his Richie. This was the Richie who loved him, and the Richie whom he loved too.

And Richie could never be a bad person.

Eddie finally made up his mind and realised that he’d been silent for really long. He knew how scary coming out must have been, and Eddie was ready to tell Richie he accepted him. That he didn’t care. That he loved him anyway.

But Richie had already left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmfaoo might not update for a while i want to watch the world burn


	5. im so done with naming chapters "5" and stuff there shall be actual titles from now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk this is really short but they will be longer i swear also,,, the first kiss is coming soon,,,,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sowwwwy but this is gonna be low caps from now because punctuation who? deal with it.

_dont do it dont do it dont do i- okay then._

richie was a dumbass. not even your average, ordinary, run-of-the-mill dumbass no siree, richie was a DUMBASS. you know those guys at the back of your class who think the moon is a planet? w o r s e.

he was just at the kissing bridge and staring at the carving he had made when he was 11 and it just seemed right- okay no. he wasn't gonna think about this anymore. he was just going to be a big boy and stop crying (allergies ~~and because eddie hated him now~~!) and he was going to sleep. ah yes. sleep.

richie needed sleep. that was all.

it is not easy to sleep when your crush now hates you because you're gay and will probably tell all his friends- who are also your friends. but meh. life, right?

after a lot of tossing and turning and tossing and turning, richie still didn't fall asleep. but morning came. yay, time for school, THAT won't be awkward at all. he brushed his teeth and quickly got dressed. he tried to drag a comb through his head but, as always, he failed.

packing a quick lunch, richie got on his cycle and left to meet up with the rest of the losers at the bike rack. he hoped he could get there before eddie and try and play his confession off as a joke. otherwise... nope, richie didnt even want to think about that.

"hey!" someone yelled. richie ignored it. probably wasn't for him. "Rich- richie HEY!" richie paused. that probably was for him.

"seriously rich, i've been chasing you for three blocks man." richie froze. oh fuck. that sounded like

"eds!! what's up!" richie turned and grinned at the shorter boy. 

"oh quit the fucking act, asshole. did you seriously think that i would hate you because you were gay? honestly trashmouth what the fuck. jesus just- i'm not really used to this, okay? but if you're fine, i'm fine okay?" eddie yelled. richie was confused. he was expecting a lot of yelling, but not this. he wasn't just relieved, he was touched. he knew eddie was his best friend, but sometimes their fake arguing got to him. even though he initiated them, he couldn't help but think that eddie really did hate him.

"well, uh, eds i-"

"no, dont you fucking call me that," eddie screamed, but without any real bite this time. "now do you wanna just go to school? bill's probably waiting and i really need to double check my homework you know if i get something wrong so close to exams ma will kill me and i think stan needs biology notes-" 

"EDDIE eddie edss yes fine. now let's just go before your ears start smoking i mean jeez."

"oh whatever"

"oh oh oh also eddie, can i tell you something?"

"sure."

"i fucked your mom"

"hey, what was that one for jackass?"

"you know, because we didn't talk a lot yesterday and i didn't get a chance to say anything"

"we literally just didn't talk for like 6 hours- WHICH WAS YOUR FAULT BY THE WAY"

"aww eds, you counted the hours?"

and even though on the outside eddie just flipped him off, on the inside all he could think was, "of course i did."

**Author's Note:**

> so please comment this is my very first fic and i could really use some input! (compliments are appreciated ;)) XD


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